Kobe Bryant
Square Biz: On April 18, 2001 NBA Superstar Kobe Bryant married Vanessa Laine, sans pre-nup, while he was just 22 years of age. Kobe proceeded with the marriage against the advice of both his family and friends. In the summer of 2003 he was arrested in Eagle, Colorado and charged with sexual assault by a 19-year old hotel employee. In a press conference with Vanessa at his side, Kobe admitted to having sex with the young lady but said that it was consensual. Before eventually beating the charges, Kobe laid a $4 million dollar eight-carat, purple diamond ring on Vanessa’s hand. Throughout the ordeal Kobe also publicly accused then teammate Karl Malone of flirting with Vanessa. Kobe also managed to leak information during the police interrogation that he knew of Shaquille O’Neal paying over a million dollars to keep women quiet about his infidelities.
Mack Move: Was the pussy that good? I don’t even know where to start with this square. Kobe is unfuckwitable on the court but I don’t know WTF type of shit he be on outside of hoopin. Why the fuck you marry the first video hoe you run into? If I’m a 22-year old, NBA playing multimillionaire do you think I’m bout to marry a heffa I meet at a DPG video shoot? Hell 2 day nah!!! You still creepin so you knew you hadn’t lost that urge to shake ya dick. Let’s not forget this trick nigga failed to even get a pre-nup. WTF type of science was behind that shit? Ok if the pussy had your head in a daze and it slipped your mind but you need to fire your lawyer ASAP…unless he was fucking her too and couldn’t think straight either. I guess that’s where the whole $4 million dollar ‘please keep the pussy here’ ring came into play huh? Cheaper to keep her? FUCK THAT!!! You still young homey. Let her leave if she wanna. Hell, if you gotta bribe her to stay then she need to kick rocks anyway. If she up and leave yo ass now, she $4 million ahead of the judge’s settlement just because of ya lil gift. Now I can’t hate the fact that you was getting pussy from the hotel cleaning girl. Some niggas get a rise from model chicks, some from fat girls, some from ugly, white girls. Heh…it is what it is on that note. As a man though, one of the things you never do is snitch. WTF does Shaq creepin on his wife have to do with you? I know damn well they ain’t ask you about that shit so you just offering up info and snitching for no damn reason huh? Or were you square enough to think that if you gave up another nigga for cheating maybe they’d lessen your charges. Either way…it was a bitch move. I can’t blame Shaq for not fucking with you no more. You still my favorite player to watch hoop though! LMAO
This entry was posted on Saturday, November 10th, 2007 at 3:29 pm and is filed under All-Time Squares & Tricks. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
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