Poppa Was A Pimp

Square Biz: Bossip dropped exclusive news and is reporting that they have learned from a “highly placed source close to actress Lauren London” that she is engaged to Lil Wayne.

Mack Move: This shit came outta nowhere for me. Who knew they were even kickin it in the first place? I guess the n*gga tryin to 1-up Superhead. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. Lauren London is a bad bitch. I gotta tilt my hat to this cat on this one.

-DaddyCool

Square Biz: Rodney King, known for getting his ass beat by the police back in 1991, was shot up on a street corner last night. Apparently he was hit in the face and arm by a shotgun blast. It’s being reported that his wounds aren’t life threatening. He even rode himself to the hospital…on his bicycle.

Mack Move: Now, I could get on and go off about how the police probably set him up or some crazy shit like that but…nah. I’m trippin cause HOW THE FUCK do you win a $3.8 million settlement back in ’91 for the police beatdown and now yo ass ain’t got shit but a bicycle? DAMN

-DaddyCool

Square Biz: InTouch is reporting that Britney Spears is apparently pregnant with her 3rd child. The daddy this time isn’t Kevin Federline, but rather music producer JR Rotem. The producer confirmed this with InTouch with a simple, “It’s true.”

Mack Move: How the fuck do you get pregnant every other month? This bitch ain’t went a month without being pregnant since her last hit record. We know she stay ready to fuck at any given moment. Hell, every picture they catch her in, she ain’t got on no panties. I don’t know how smart it is to raw dog a bitch like that JR. Fuck the music…you better go produce yo ass to the clinic for a check up!

-DaddyCool

Square Biz:  Alexander D. Smith was charged with disorderly conduct and forgery after trying to open an account with a fake $ 1 million bill. The bank teller refused to open the account and called the police after Smith got irate and started cursing out bank workers.

Source 

Mack Move: Ya dumb bastard you! What type of logic ran thru your simple ass brain that concluded to ‘This shit can work!’. I don’t hate on no man’s hustle but damn homey! After the teller said no, you shouldve walked your simple ass out and went to another bank and try the dumb shit there….but no! You wanna make a scene and draw attention to yourself huh? All I can hope is that he ain’t black. We got enough of us on the news for dumb shit these days!

Who gives a fuck…I’d wear that a$$ out either way!

-DaddyCool

Square Biz: MTVreported that Usher and his wife, Tameka Foster, have welcomed a their son into the world around 9:30 p.m. Monday night. It’s expected that the child will be named Usher Raymond V.

Mack Move: Congratulations to them. (PS…Usher’s wifey looks like a dude. Shit kinda makes ya wonder who’s fucking who in the relationship don’t it? And this is an upgrade from Chili? Coming soon…All-Time Squares – Usher!)

-DaddyCool

Redskins Pro Bowl safety Sean Taylor passed away Tuesday from a gunshot wound he suffered during a robbery at his home. The shooting happened early Monday. My deepest condolences go out to his friends and family.

-DaddyCool

Handled like a real pimp should.

-DaddyCool

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If this is the kinda shit that rap is coming to then it’s bout time to say fuck it. I better not see this shit on BET. You ain’t smellin a pimp’s dick unless it’s halfway down ya throat anyway. Chuuch!

-DaddyCool

Square Biz: A 60 year old Pakistani man was not only robbed, but had a glass bottle of Pepsi shoved up his backside by the thieves. After the Pepsi bottle was up the victim’s ass, the thieves then took off with two of his buffalo. Check out the X-ray in the thumbnails below.

Source

Mack Move: Now…I don’t usually promote violence but I’d have to kill these two robbers by any means necessary. Analy raped with a Pepsi bottle? WTF! But dig this, the article says he checked himsef into the hospital. That means the old man was walking around freely with a bottle stuck up his ass! It’s fucked up but he might have a future in gay porn or some shit like that.

-DaddyCool